Friday, July 10, 2009

Shauna Sand's Lips Defy Logic

Listen ladies, I have a serious question. What in the name of Guido makes you want to butcher the shit out of your faces? Is it vanity? Is it to please the abusive douche bag you share a bed with? Is it because when you were younger your father only gave you treats after you "kissed his special place," and now you're overcompensating? I only ask because I see this kind of thing on a fairly regular basis and I could never understand why you'd want your lips to look like they've been attacked by poisonous caterpillars. And while I'm at it allow me to clue you in on a little secret most men tend to keep to themselves, most likely because they're afraid to get sucked into the spinning vortex your boot lips would undoubtedly create if you got mad and pursed those medical oddities:

It's not at all sexy.

As a matter of fact it makes you look rather ridiculous, and were it not for the fact that you have to eat to live most men would have no compunction super gluing a paper bag to your face so they wouldn't have to look at you.

So in essence: Stop fucking with your face, and stop allowing your so-called "doctors" to convince you it needs to be done in the first place. Idiots.


  1. I never understood why women do this either. It almost seems like they suffer some sort of addiction to plastic surgery, and the more freakish they become the happier they are.

  2. Oh come on, you know you'd put it in her.

  3. If by "put it in her" you mean "turn the other way while trying to suppress my gag reflex" then yes, I would.