Another Brainless Broad; Another Failed Stunt

By watching this video two things immediately spring to mind. The first thing is this girl is obviously smarter than the girl who attempted the ill-fated rail slide considering she had the presence of mind to include pillows of the slumber-inducing variety.

The second -- and most important -- thing that springs to mind is members of the opposite sex are clearly just as apt as their male counterparts when it comes to making complete fucking fools of themselves on video and then uploading it to the Internet for others to laugh at.

Seriously, when it comes to Internet jackassery the only difference is in the way the two expel piss from their bodies, and even then it's pretty hard hard to make the distinction sometimes.

Brainless Girl Attempts Ill-Conceived Stunt

If the framed Kill Bill poster on the wall isn't a dead giveaway that the folks occupying this house aren't exactly your typical nine-to-fivers then the fucking girl precariously balancing on what appears to be a skateboard deck and attempting to slide down a banister should tip you off.

Not exactly the best laid plan, but I imagine when one's diet consists primarily of hops, cannabis and Cocoa Puffs Darwin's oft-tested theory is the last thing on these people's feeble minds.

Just Because: 136 M.P.H In-Your-Face Superbike Crash

I'll be completely honest here and admit that my knowledge of motorcycles begins and ends with the fact that the vast majority of them feature two wheels, a throttle and brakes. I'll also admit that the speed in which this guy is purported to be going when he does his best bug-on-a-windshield imitation is about 136 em-pee-achis faster than anything I've ever planted my ass in that doesn't have doors and a seat-belt.

With that being said even I know that my man must have a silver horseshoe wedged up his shitter, because he walked away from this little mishap relatively unharmed.

His bike? It landed somewhere in Tupelo, Mississippi.

CORRECTION: I originally had this guy going a staggering 220 miles per hour when he bit the dust, which is pretty much impossible. What it should have read was 220 kilometers per hour, which I then converted. Call it a brain fart.

Elin Woods Presents The Sterilizer 3000

For those times when you just need to club the shit out of. . .something.

Why Licenses Should Be Needed Before Child Birth

See the look on that poor kid's face? Even he knows there's something amiss when he's being forced to be seen in a picture with a woman so skanky they sell her stink at the hardware store as a paint thinner.

I bet her twat smells like week-old oatmeal.

Idiot, Meet Centrifugal Force

Back in the day I worked at a Sears outlet, and one of my responsibilities was loading and unloading the plethora of shit that came off the various delivery trucks every day. Sometimes it was cases of chips and other goodies for the vending machines, and other times it was stacked washers and dryers and whatever other appliances Sears sells in their never-ending effort to make having arms seem more and more obsolete.

Anyway, one of the things I got to operate was an electric pallet jack -- as well as a power clamp, which if not used correctly could turn a glass-top range into so much shards of glass and metal, but that's another story -- and the first thing I learned was to never attempt what this jackass in the video does. The prospect of doing great bodily harm to yourself and others aside, any time you try to do something this dumb the eventual decision is always going to fall in favor of Darwin, and as we all know Darwin is not one to fuck with.

Thankfully though dude in the video suffers from a serious case of Dumbassitis -- laughing at other people's pain and stupidity is a passion of mine -- although I have to say that if he was driving a hi-lo and tried that kind of dumb shit this video would be better suited for a Faces of Death compilation.