Did She Dried?

The above title was lifted from the comments section for the video you're about to watch, and the only reason I use it (other than it being the only humorous play on the annoying-as-fuck meme "did he died") is because I'm tired as hell and in no mood whatsoever to try and come up with something catchy on my own.

But, hey, whatever right? If millions of douche bags can steal (and beat to death) some other illiterate asshole's attempt at humor then why can't I steal some nameless 'net troll's attempt at being ironic?

And speaking of irony, how many of you out there have drank to the point of stupification (yeah, I made that shit up) and actually thought that mashing yourself into a clothes dryer seemed like a good idea? Really? You have? Well then you have something in common with this silly broad.

Ironic, eh? Video after the jump.

Lindsey Vonn Has the "Instinct" For Smokin' Hot Magazine Shoots

Most of you know Lindsey Vonn as the first American woman to win the gold medal in the downhill at the 2010 Winter Olympics (and if you didn't before you do now, ya knucklehead). Some of you might also know her as the girl that broke your heart, but that was back in high school when you were all awkward and didn't know how to talk to girls. Seriously dude, don't blame yourself.

Well thanks to ESPN The Magazine after today you'll also know Little Miss Vonn as the girl who took Sharon Stone's iconic role in Basic Instinct, wrapped it in a dynamite coat, blew it the fuck up and then stomped all over the resulting carnage. And yes, she even shows us the money shot (albeit inadvertently and while wearing some pretty white panties).

Super-duper sexy behind-the-scenes video with said panty shot is after the jump, and please do everyone a favor and try not to get any on yourself. Pervert.

Eye Candy: Just Some Random Cuties

If you're looking for more cuties just like these then click on over here.

The Friday Ker-Plunk

• Some things just shouldn't ever be made. This is one of those things.
• Boyfriends share pics of their naughty girlfriends.
• Some Sofia Vergara see-through-to-undies shots.
• The ass on this broad is unreal.
• Beyonce in the French version of FHM.
• That's one big pussy.
• Dad scares the shit out of his stepson. And oldy but a goody.
• A real live dickhead.
• Chloe Vevrier's luscious rack in sheer lingerie.
• Barbie has had 120 careers and "cunting."
• Nasty and naughty girlfriends waiting for your vote.
• She might look 12, but Faye Reagan is legal. Barely.
• UFC signs James Toney; entire MMA world wonders why.

Eye Candy: Another Slutty Lindsay Lohan Photo Shoot

I think the reason this girl is forced to deflect so much flak is because she's slutty, dirty and not afraid to openly explore her sexuality. That and she makes no apologies for being who she is and what she does.

I -- along with thousands of other men -- salute her.

Even Paris Hilton's Vag Craves Attention

You know you're an attention whore when pieces of your anatomy are clamoring for some camera time.

On any other human being -- that skank you banged the other night after getting sauced on Jager Bombs included -- this would be somewhat titillating, but on this walking piece of butt lint it just makes me feel bad for whatever poor bastard was standing behind that camera lens.

He'll never see straight again.

Just In Time For the Holidays

And she's still alive thanks to the air holes!

You too can have one for only $9,999.99 and have it flown direct from Russia with love. Pre-packaged for quick and efficient delivery.

Act now before it's too late. Not responsible for lost or egregiously used box contents.

Thong Clad Blonde Completely Ruins Sexy Time

Dear Ladies,

I know how tempting it is to tromp around in front of the camera with your girly bits flapping in the breeze -- unless, of course, you look like you main line canola oil -- but if you're going to lessen yourselves please, for the love of every single chubby you aim to produce, take some fucking precautions before getting your slut on. Otherwise you'll end up like this silly broad and turn what could have been a pretty solid wank session into a throbbing set of blue balls.

Sincerely,

Men

P.S.

Stop with the shit music.