Did She Dried?

The above title was lifted from the comments section for the video you're about to watch, and the only reason I use it (other than it being the only humorous play on the annoying-as-fuck meme "did he died") is because I'm tired as hell and in no mood whatsoever to try and come up with something catchy on my own.

But, hey, whatever right? If millions of douche bags can steal (and beat to death) some other illiterate asshole's attempt at humor then why can't I steal some nameless 'net troll's attempt at being ironic?

And speaking of irony, how many of you out there have drank to the point of stupification (yeah, I made that shit up) and actually thought that mashing yourself into a clothes dryer seemed like a good idea? Really? You have? Well then you have something in common with this silly broad.

Ironic, eh? Video after the jump.

Eye Candy: Rumor WIllis' Big Ass In Tights

You know, as busted as this broad's face is I have to say that her ass stuffed into those tights has my ding-dong going all action-adventure while shouting "Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfucker!" And for those trying to paint a mental picture of my man-junk going action-adventure inside my pants, think the opening explosion in Die Hard With a Vengeance and you're about halfway there. Either that or stop thinking about my package all together. Freak.

For the rest of the series click here, and marvel at how an ass that scrumptious can belong on a body that also houses such an incongruous gob.

Eye Candy: Aida Yespica Topless On the Beach

According to Aida Yespica's Wiki page this yummy looking tart began her career (read: started making an obscene amount of money off mom and dad's genes) representing the state of Amazonas in the Miss Venezuela pageant back in 2002. She then went on to achieve cover girl status for mags like GQ and Maxim, but all of that shit pales in comparison to her appearance on the Italian version of Celebrity Survivor.

But fuck it, you don't care about any of that. You want to see some boobage, which you can find after the jump. Obviously these shots are totally NSFW.

Eye Candy: More Kim Kardashian Bikini Goodness (Now With Ass Crack!)

Giving New Meaning to the Term "Ass Face."

I. Have. No. Words.

And the sad part is these people actually used their fucking brains and came up with the idea. Mankind is doomed.

The Friday Ker-Plunk

• The creepiest broad I've seen since Wednesday morning. 151 is a bitch I tell you.
• Dude shoots a stream of fire from his ass. No more Bell for you my man.
• The grim ginger is at it again.
• One of these things doesn't belong.
• Boobies and kittens. Boobies. And. Kittens.
• Link Froggy. Ribbit.
• Dakota Fanning is almost there. Give it a few more years and she'll be primed.
• Jenni Hendrix and Taylor Vixen are in heat and half naked. Go see.
• Shay LaRen flaunting those huge, floppy milk bags. She's also wearing leather boots.
• More naughty girlfriends with great asses. Great I say.
• Go vote for your favorite slutty girlfriend and see if you can't win her some money. Or something.
• Nothing more classy than a fat hillbilly going down on Paul Bunyan.
• Look! They made a movie about your early years.
• The UFC gets banned in Germany. Apparently that whole Nazi thing left a bad taste in their mouths.
• The NHL needs more women in bikinis. Now.

Eye Candy: Some Stephanie Seymour Nip-Tastic Bikini Shots

Sure, Stephanie Seymour's ass looks like someone went at it with a fucking meat tenderizer, but show me one man out there who wouldn't drop trou and plug away at it if given the chance and I'll show you a man that actually enjoys watching Sex and the City.

And if you need me to explain myself then you're probably that man.

The Friday Ker-Plunk

• Corey Haim is dead and this is what he left to the world.
• Sexy, slutty, sweaty and sultry cheerleaders.
• Sexy -- and one not-too-sexy unless you're into big green things -- babes in t-shirts.
• This is what Pac-Man should have looked like.
• Easily the most cringe-inducing toilet paper dispenser in the history of doo-doo.
• Jessica Simpson bent over and showing that deep cleavage.
• Cute college girl Michelle. She's a freshman, which means she's up for all kinds of dirty shit.
• Rope: For those times she says no.
• GotGisele is live, and her rack is massive.
• Erin Marie Hogan topless in Paranormal Entity.
• Kim Kardashian's big, fat ass in FHM Australia.
• Amateur girlfriend's with juicy booties.
• Does this naughty amateur deserve your vote? Click through and find out.
• Find tons of hot, lonely women in your area looking for a fling. No shit.
• Alistair Overeem has no problem with kicking a little girl.
• Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland blows. Here's proof.
• Sexy cutie shakes her tight little booty.

Eye Candy: Just Some Random Cuties

If you're looking for more cuties just like these then click on over here.

Eye Candy: Belen Rodriguez In a Tiny Thong Bikini

Stay Classy Baby

Ten bucks to the person that comes up with the best caption for this photo. Seriously.

Just Because: If This Was An Olympic Sport. . .

. . .people might have actually watched.

Eye Candy: Another Slutty Lindsay Lohan Photo Shoot

I think the reason this girl is forced to deflect so much flak is because she's slutty, dirty and not afraid to openly explore her sexuality. That and she makes no apologies for being who she is and what she does.

I -- along with thousands of other men -- salute her.