Just Because: Cam Janssen vs. Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond Goes For Over 2 Minutes

Have you ever been in a fight that went longer than 30 seconds? Hell, have you ever been in a wrestling match with your brother or best friend that went longer than 30 seconds? It's a fucking nightmare for the cardiovascular system with all that tussling and jockeying for position. At the end of it all you're out of breath, sweating profusely and -- depending on your possible state of inebriation -- in need of a good yack. It's enough to make you tired just thinking about it.

Add about ten pounds of hockey equipment, some ice skates, thousands of screaming fans and a running time of over two minutes and you get the following video. Kind of adds a new element to the whole "Shit, I'm tired!" aspect don't you think?

The Friday Ker-Plunk

• The creepiest broad I've seen since Wednesday morning. 151 is a bitch I tell you.
• Dude shoots a stream of fire from his ass. No more Bell for you my man.
• The grim ginger is at it again.
• One of these things doesn't belong.
• Boobies and kittens. Boobies. And. Kittens.
• Link Froggy. Ribbit.
• Dakota Fanning is almost there. Give it a few more years and she'll be primed.
• Jenni Hendrix and Taylor Vixen are in heat and half naked. Go see.
• Shay LaRen flaunting those huge, floppy milk bags. She's also wearing leather boots.
• More naughty girlfriends with great asses. Great I say.
• Go vote for your favorite slutty girlfriend and see if you can't win her some money. Or something.
• Nothing more classy than a fat hillbilly going down on Paul Bunyan.
• Look! They made a movie about your early years.
• The UFC gets banned in Germany. Apparently that whole Nazi thing left a bad taste in their mouths.
• The NHL needs more women in bikinis. Now.

"I Told You Once"

Apparently this cop isn't one to repeat himself, especially to a cuffed and incapacitated suspect who wasn't aware that he'd somehow been transported back to the 1800's where cops would much rather kick the shit out of you than tell you -- for a second time -- not to kick the window.

One thing's for sure; this guy will probably keep his feet on the floor from now on.

Just Because: Miguel Torres' Forehead Vagina

This little bit of nastiness happened on Saturday night at WEC 47 when Joseph Benavidez opened up a geyser on Miguel Torres' forehead before ending his night with a guillotine choke. Nice eh?

A view of the inside of Torres' forehead -- as well as the stitched up aftermath -- is after the jump, so if you're eating -- or are thinking about eating within the next couple of hours or so -- or sitting in your cubicle at work then I highly suggest giving it a little time and then coming back later. Seriously, shit ain't pretty yo.

HI-FUCKINOW! -- A.K.A. Bruised Lee's Revenge

"Do as I say, not as I do" has never -- in the history of everything -- been more appropriate than here. The only thing that could have made this guy look like more of a ding-dong would have been for him to try and make it look like he meant to turn his hand into flour.

David vs. Goliath Hockey Style

God damn, I've heard of mismatches before but this is a little ridiculous. Hal Gill, the 6'7", 240-pound behemoth -- who you can see hocking canned string beans and such for the Green Giant brand of products during the off-season -- has a slight advantage over the 5'11" Rick Rypien, but instead of backing down he gets all uppity with the big guy and gets his fight on like a motherfucker.

Later that night Rypien wrestled a bear and hog-tied a lion with a roll of duct tape.

Douche Bag Bully Gets Beat Down by Andrei Arlovski

If you're still on the fence as to whether or not this show is authentic here's a quote taken from Donovan Craig, editor of Fight Magazine. He just happened to be sitting in on the taping of this show when it all went down and was able to catch this small psychological nugget offered up by the bully -- or "Big Nasty" as he so eloquently deemed himself -- as the doctors were checking him out backstage:

“Ya’ll are mean, dawg. When I heard them say Andrei Arlovski I thought it was a joke. That was fucked up.”

But it wasn't as fucked up as your poor attempt at intimidation, you floppy douche bag. Did you really think you were going to send a former UFC heavyweight champion running for the bathroom in fear after getting in his face and flapping your flabby dicksucker at him? The guy's a fucking trained killer, and you get in his face with that street jive bullshit? You might as well have just bent over and let him put his foot in your ass. It would have saved you a lot of time and humiliation.

Big nasty indeed. In your britches.

Another Douche Bites the Dust

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Ladies and gentlemen, witness the devolution of the human race right before your eyes. There's no defense and there's no getting away from it. Suicide is recommended.