Thong Clad Blonde Completely Ruins Sexy Time

Dear Ladies,

I know how tempting it is to tromp around in front of the camera with your girly bits flapping in the breeze -- unless, of course, you look like you main line canola oil -- but if you're going to lessen yourselves please, for the love of every single chubby you aim to produce, take some fucking precautions before getting your slut on. Otherwise you'll end up like this silly broad and turn what could have been a pretty solid wank session into a throbbing set of blue balls.

Sincerely,

Men

P.S.

Stop with the shit music.