Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Douchette With a Beer Bong

Ladies, let me clue you in on a little secret. Trust me, you're going to thank me. Prepare yourselves, because this might be hard to take. All set? Here it comes. Any time you're with a group of guys and they talk you into chugging beer through a phallic-shaped tube the moment you put that fucker to your lips the words "easy" and "whore" flutter around in their brains like inebriated butterflies. They don't think you're "down" or that you're a "kick ass chick;" they think you're an easy piece of ass who, after a few more beer bongs and some shots, will either take your top off and give them all lap dances or become the caboose on the midnight meat train.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking you're a headstrong woman who would never allow herself to be suckered into such a predicament, but let me assure you that guys can be pretty slick when the opportunity to score some strange trim presents itself. And don't let his harmless demeanor fool you; the prospect of regaling his drunken friends with a tale of how he stink-fingered that girl from the hotel can turn any sweet and charming guy into Ron fucking Jeremy.

Unless, of course, it is Ron Jeremy, in which case you were literally fucked from the word go.

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