Sadly the title of this post contained not even a hint of hyperbole. This guy, with his fake tan and bleached teeth and professionally shaped eyebrows, probably scores more ass than a doctor's speculum. Granted, the type of women who allow a guy like this to put his penis anywhere near their bodies are typically shallow and tout less self-respect than Pamela Anderson, but to a complete and utter douche bag like this guy it's not about quality; it's about quantity. Seriously, this jackass could stuff his pork sword in Ms. Piggy and still consider it an accomplishment worthy of high-fives and Facebook updates.
Me? I like my women like I like my food: Warm, delicious and with as little hair as possible.
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