Here's the thing. I went to high school with the douche bag on the left and to be perfectly honest he was a fucking mouth breather then. He styled his hair a la Kid Rock circa Grits Sandwiches For Breakfast and drove a god damn K-Car. Needless to say he was under the misinformed impression that he was some kind of pimp, but the only thing he was pimping was his chafed right hand.
I have no idea who the dick on the right is. A Russian spy perhaps.