Classic Idiocy: That Table Had Enough of Big Mama

For some reason while watching this video I'm brought kicking and screaming back to my childhood and the fabled tale of an ill-fated egg that wasn't smart enough to sit in a fucking chair.

With that being said -- and after I popped a Xanax -- I felt compelled to spin my own little yarn in honor of what is undoubtedly one of the best and most fulfilling dances in the history of tables. Witness the Ode to Big Mamma:

Humpty Dumpty stood on a table,
trying to look cute but she just wasn't able.
She shimmied and shook in an attempt to be graceful,
But thankfully for all watching she broke the fucking table.