Merry-Go Ow

Well ladies and gentlemen, another Christmas has come and gone and another shit ton of useless gifts have been banished to whence they came. Thank Christ. I don't know about you but the holiday season for yours truly is an exercise in self control. I'm forced to see people I wouldn't otherwise socialize with and am expected to accept the silly nonsense they have so painstakingly wrapped in newspaper with a smile. Ba-fucking-humbug.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not the holiday season itself that gets me wishing for a swift and painless death -- I'm actually quite partial to Christmas trees and the vast array of colorful lights seen all over the neighborhood -- but the asinine people that force this god-forsaken, consumer-driven, all-for-profit shit sandwich down my throat.

Bring on the Fourth of July, because nothing gets me more excited than a bunch of shitfaced strangers trying to blow themselves up. Now that's a holiday I can get behind.