Monday, January 4, 2010
Drunk Fool Becomes a Human Dart Board
First let me just say that this guy is an absolute jackass. Nothing says "I failed third grade" more than some inebriated knucklehead allowing his "friends" to throw dangerous projectiles directly at his head.
With that being said I have a story for you. A while back my girlfriend and I paid a visit to her parents house, and during the course of sitting there and shooting the shit her father and I managed to polish off a 30-pack of Busch Light. Say what you will about the brand but alcohol is alcohol, and as we all know alcohol makes people do ridiculously silly things.
Fast forward a bit and her father is inexplicably standing about five feet away from me and holding a dart board about chest high. Me? Well, on top of burping like a fog horn and trying to keep myself upright I was also holding a dart. While drunk. And her dad was holding a dart board.
To make a long story short I cleared away the hops-induced fog long enough to suggest holding the dart board a little south of his chest -- as funny as it would have been I really would have hated to send him to the hospital with a punctured ball bag -- and just as he got the board in place I launched that little slice of pain. It sailed across the room like it was shot from a cannon, but instead of connecting safely with the board it implanted itself right in the fleshy part of the knee cap. Oops.
Needless to say he hopped around for a few minutes, and after I picked myself up off the floor -- I may have also pissed myself I was laughing so hard -- he tried to get me to hold the dart board next. I didn't, but that's not to say he doesn't remind me that it's "my turn" a minimum of ten times every time I've seen him since that day.
On those occasions I stick to Pepsi.