Balloon Boy Father's Homemade "Rap" Video

I have no words. Seriously, none at all. Actually, that's not exactly accurate. I have words like "bat shit crazy," "horrible father" and "child protective services" roiling around in my brain pan, but after viewing this video I have such an overwhelming urge to produce children of my own just so I can show them the love and affection these kids are so clearly missing that I'm trying to type this as I bend my girlfriend into the crouching tiger, hidden ding-dong.

Wish me luck.