Monday, December 21, 2009

Another Jackass Fails At Ramp Jumping

When I was just a tyke I got suckered into jumping a ramp that some of the bigger neighborhood kids assembled. In reality it probably wasn't that big, but at the time it looked and felt like I jumped the fucking Grand Canyon. I remember launching off that damn thing at what had to be a 90-degree angle and coming down so hard that my nuts felt like someone popped them with a pair of Vise-Grip pliers. I was in such pain that one of the kids' fathers came out to tend to me, and as I was rolling around on the ground -- with this man I never met trying to calm me down -- I ripped a fart that sounded like the horn from a tug boat. I don't know where it came from; it just slid out. Needless to say everyone -- including myself -- began laughing their collective asses off, but I can tell you that after that day I never trusted another human being when they told me "it's safe."

I was a kid, and it's generally accepted that kids are going to do stupid shit. With that being said I stopped doing said stupid shit right around the time I started to sprout ball hair, so I don't know what the guy in the video's problem is. Maybe he was slow in developing, or maybe he's a daredevil.

Then again maybe he's just a fucking idiot, which is traditionally the case in situations where man takes on inanimate objects.

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