"Comedy" Is In the Eye of the Beholder

Every day -- I'm not kidding here. Every. Fucking. Day. -- someone does something so inherently stupid in my general vicinity that one can't help but stare in slack-jawed silence. Case in point: This dickhead. Apparently this took place in an Apple store, and while I'm sure dude is simply trying to be funny and score some kind of reaction from onlookers for the most part everyone just keeps their distance, presumably out of fear that if they stepped in and told him to knock off the nonsense they'd feel the wrath of four days worth of meth tweak.

My favorite part? It's at the 4:00 mark when the spawn of Shrek walks up and simply stares at Tweeky McTweekerson as if to say "Dude, my sense of humor is as underdeveloped as your brain, and even I don't find this shit funny."

Comedy is supposed to be funny. This, my friends, isn't it. Video after the jump.

Beer Goggles Not Included

You know what the sad thing about this picture is? No, it's not the busted down broads or their pathetic attempt to hang on to their youth. No, the sad thing about this picture is someone probably got drunk enough that night to take one or both of them home. Can you imagine waking up with something like that on your arm. I'd chew the fucker off before I ran the risk of waking her up.

Meghan McCain's Busty Twitter Shot

Apparently a controversy erupted after the daughter of the former presidential hopeful published this picture of herself pouring out of her top on her Twitter page. Why? Because it's offensive, don't you know.

But seriously, the only people offended by this are the prude cunts that dress like fucking bellhops. She's a grown woman with a killer body that felt compelled to show it off. I say bravo.

If I were her I'd throw a bikini on, snap a few pics and post the fuck out of them just to spite all the delicate sensibilities.

The Birth of An Internet Legend

Funny Makeup Tutorial - Watch more Funny Videos
You know, some days you just have to put all your personal bullshit aside and let the funny move you. This is one of those days.

"Hello, my name Gumba'tu. Me teach you to do Kwing Kong makeup."

Internet gold right there my friends. Internet. . .fucking. . .gold.

NOTE: Am I the only one who finds her cute in a developmentally-disabled-oversize-newborn-baby kind of way?

Another Shit Talking Bully Gets Handled

Listen tough guys, we need to have a man-to-man. If you're going to get in someone's face and talk shit please, for the love of Christ, learn how to handle yourselves. I mean come on, any time you start a fight and end up crawling away with your tail tucked between your legs it's time to seriously reconsider your stance on karate lessons. Either that or, you know, stop being such fucking douche bags and starting fights to begin with.

Or not. The videos of you getting embarrassed are just too great.

NOTE: It takes a minute to get going, but trust me when I say the payoff is totally worth it. Go make a drink and come on back.

TUF 10 Ruminations and a Giant Douche Bag

So I watched the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights last night and I have to say it looks like it's going to be the best TUF season yet. Every single contestant looks like he could move a mountain, and the interaction between the coaches had me laughing out loud at times. Rampage especially had me giggling like a 14-year-old that found her parents' hooch stash, and when his career in MMA is over the guy definitely has a future in comedy. The guy is flat out funny.

Rumor has it that that overrated balloon head Kimbo gets his ass kicked pretty early as well, proving once again that Dana White is quite possibly the coolest motherfucker on the face of the planet. I mean why else would he have accepted Kimbo into the house if for no other reason than to embarrass the shit out of him? I've also heard that something quite dramatic happens between Kimbo and another housemate in or around the pool, and if this rumor is correct then we're all in for a hell of a surprise.

Oh, and that guy in the picture above is a douche bag. That is all.

Dream Big Douche Bag

A chooch with a skateboard posing behind the ultimate douche bag status symbol. He's almost home.