Eye Candy: Jenni Farley Flaunts Her Rack For Her B-Day

She may be one of the biggest douchettes in the history of everything -- J-Wow? Really? -- but god damn does this broad have a killer rack or what? Now if she'd only forget how to talk we'd be all set.

The Friday Ker-Plunk

• Seriously people, it's only a fucking video game.
• Susana Spears + the great outdoors + t & a = one hot photo shoot.
• A soccer ball you can fuck. No, really.
• Even victims of spousal abuse need a little motivation sometimes.
• Teresa Palmer looking tit-tastic on the red carpet.
• Ferfucksakes! Can you blonde women do anything right?
• Here, have some slut stew.
• A Viagra commercial they should have used.
• Blonde knockout Scarlett showing off that luscious rack of hers.
• Tons of hot girlfriends are awaiting your vote.
• Shit! I think I see my ex in there!
• Some Elizabeth Hurley no bra see-through action.
• Chuck Liddell has finally lost his shit.
• It's official: Women all over the world do dumb shit.

So Many Skanks, So Little Time

Here's and easy one:

How many skanky tramps does it take to give you whooping cough and a funny tickle in your nads? One. . .two. . .three. . .

And if any of these club rats belong to you, first let me say I'm sorry. Not for making fun of them -- they do that shit all on their own -- but for not being there for you when you needed it the most. Seriously, someone should have stopped you before you made that plunge.

Why Licenses Should Be Needed Before Child Birth

See the look on that poor kid's face? Even he knows there's something amiss when he's being forced to be seen in a picture with a woman so skanky they sell her stink at the hardware store as a paint thinner.

I bet her twat smells like week-old oatmeal.

A Face Only a Nuthugger Could Love

What the fuck can I say about this ridiculous display of maladjustment that isn't already roiling around in your own brains? Seriously, I'll just leave this one up to you folks. I'm off to devour some leftover bird.

Beer Goggles Not Included

You know what the sad thing about this picture is? No, it's not the busted down broads or their pathetic attempt to hang on to their youth. No, the sad thing about this picture is someone probably got drunk enough that night to take one or both of them home. Can you imagine waking up with something like that on your arm. I'd chew the fucker off before I ran the risk of waking her up.

No Thanks Baby, I Like It Raw

You know, I can't really tell if this broad is purposely doing that with her lips in an effort to emulate what her friends have assured her is "sexy" or if she's just spent so much time in the tanning salon soaking up UV rays that her face is now perpetually baked into the universal sign of the douche. I'm inclined to think the latter.